another answer to depression

"WELCOME everything that comes to you
BUT do not LONG for more."

this was the quote from my calendar last July 3.
i can't forget about this quote because of its
obvious application in my life.

i am a person who wants things done.
i admit that the only thing i'm good at is my academics.
and yet, it can betray me and just abandon me in the slume areas of my life.
i suck in extra - curricular activities.
name it. i stink in each and everyone of them.
P.E, i can't play an instrument, i can't make any creative thing.
i'm not ranting about this to degrade my being.
i am stating the facts which serve as factors for how i react to certain conditions.

since academics is my only refuge, i expect a lot from it.
i have my own standards set before me and i get really disappointed
when i don't get the perceived results.
my parents don't really require me anything.
it's just me scolding myself around.
as seen from a different perspective, i may sound stupid.
but this idea just seems so real from time to time.

the quote i share to you is something i use to get me out
of my childish depression.
one should just accept everything and not ask for more.
do what you can and accept the results with no further complaints.
besides, it is exactly you to blame why things turned out the way they did.
it's hard but it is worth the shot.

i don't really have people to talk to about such things cause i end up sounding
arrogant and self - centered.
well, maybe i am. i don't really know.

just shared it. keep it in mind godgivengift.
it'll help you live.

Cosplay for depression

i was depressed last friday due to some childish reasons.
that's just how some things work.
they seem so important that you almost lose sanity
but after getting over it, dwelling over such a thing just doesn't
make sense anymore.

i'm my own confidant.
i am the only one who knows what's going on in my life.
when i enter a sad stage, i am the only one who comforts myself.
besides my mom, it's the ol way i get over it.
there are plenty of options.
sleep, listen to happy music, play games, eat your fave food,
refresh, watch movies, draw or simply indulge to your desires.
last friday, i had a new approach.
i was bored. i washed, i slept and yet
there was still a residue of sadness left.
so i tried random things on youtube being tempted by a friend. :->.
i keyed in "anime" and i saw a vid with a hot white guy with hair featured.
i was curious. >:).
then i figured out it was an anime cosplay.
Dang! were they good. they really looked like the anime!
there were a lot of naruto cosplays but the hot guy i saw
was a character in the series "Death Note".
i searched for the series in youtube.
i watched the first. then the second, then the third
until i just couldn't stop. i had to debate with my inner self
to stop my overentertainment. :))

that's how cosplay dragged me out of my distress.
try it as well some time. >:)

First Post!

i shall tell you a story of my childhood and the roots of my atrociousness.

want to hear how i killed my only pet before? goldfishes
wanna hear it?
anyway. originally i had 2 goldfishes and 2 angelfishes
my angelfishes were colored white
i liked them. one day,
i checked my aquarium and saw a coton - like material floating in the water.
i counted my fishes.
i only saw the 2 goldfishes and i saw one eating the angelfish right before my eyes!!!!!
and then i figured out that the cotton - like material was my angelfish
killed ruthlessly by the goldfishes. i was furious and sad.
then i came up with a plan.
i decided to kill my goldfishes and send them to hell where they belong.
so i decides not to feed them. they lived.
i didn't change the aquarium's water. they survived.
i turned off the oxygen. they were still there.
i got really pissed...I FED THEM TO OUR CUTE PUSSY CATS!!!!!!!!
my age.. i was.. let's say 7 years old or younger.

the reason why i don't eat the head part of any fish.
it reminds me of what i did to my goldfishes.
it is fair anyway.
they killed my angel fishes, they deserve to die as well. >:)
since then, my mom didn't buy any pet anymore.