perio is over.
i feel the need to post something.
hhaaaayyyyy.
tapos na perio.
pero marami pa ring kailangang gawin.
kasi, bat pa napaaga yung sembreak? :(
ang gulo tuloy ng sked tapos marami
pa akong mamimiss. :(
hay nako.
stressssss.
grah.
walang kwentang post to. haha
oh well.
nakita ko kay lea na kinuha niya raw kay kit.
ag daming pwedeng ishare kaya lang tinatamad pa ako.
haha
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  6.3 |
| Mind: | 5.9 |
| Body: |  7.7 |
| Spirit: |  6.7 |
| Friends/Family: |  5 |
| Love: |  2.1 |
| Finance: | 5.2 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
when you think life has squeezed you enough,
it can just dry you to the last drop.
a lot of things have occurred.
schoolwise and homewise. oh gosh.
i don't feel like sharing it through the blog.
things just aren't going that well.
contingencies in contingencies are arising.
it's really hard.
but hey, there's nothing we can't get through
if we stick together.
i just think that we need more than
just elmer's glue.
blah
i really can't think of anything to post right now.
tons to do for tomorrow.
i have hell morning tomorrow.
i just wanted to share this band.
(like i own it, to share it) haha
anyway, my cousin introduced me
to this band cause she has a crush on the
vocalist. i looked it up.
they're German and they're slowly climbing the top.
their song Monsoon is one of my LSS.
just wanted to share. :)
P.S.
the vocalist looks like a girl
with a lion's mane. haha
but he has a good voice
like a girl's too.
haha :)
today is my sister's birthday.
and kristina's birthday too.
happy birthday to everyone
(who has their birthday today)!
as every other kid out there
my sister never gets tired of Jollibee
which is just a few steps away from our place.
she had a party today.
too bad i wasn't there.
i guess that's why it's special.
cause i'm not there. haha :P
i always wanted a younger brother.
i guess that's just how things work.
we ask for what we don't have and when we do,
sometimes we want to exchange them for something else.
just like how you do it with items
in the department store within 7 days of purchase.
it's not that i want to exchange my sister.
i did ask for a sister anyway.
i just want a brother preferably an older one
but a younger one is just as fine.
before my younger sister was conceived,
my mom had a bad pregnancy and the baby was
supposed to be a younger brother!!!!
he was supposed to be named Reggienald.
if he lived to see the world,
i guess he would be in his fourth grade at present.
oh well. he didn't live
to be my little knight in shining armor for a reason.
whatever that may be, i dunno.
but i'm happy with my sister.
we used to dress her up like a guy when she was younger
and we usually thought of bringing her to the navy
when she gets older as a joke.
now that she's in her second grade,
she a really girly - girl and the traditional barber's cut
i went through was not as long for her.
i think we're opposites.
she tries to be me but she can't
since she is naturally a girly-girl.
she can't help but look in the mirror and comb
her hair and stick all the clips and ponytails
she can find.
she likes being thin and she is very hyper
when ironically, she has asthma.
she's great really.
i had a dream last monday of a younger brother.
it's my second dream with a younger brother
involved and i really like my brother in the dream.
in my dream, he was supposed to give a blood sample
to a med tech. very weirdly, the med tech
was in a hawaiian costume with the pompoms and the garlands.
my brother was really scared (just like my sister when her name
was supposed to mean brave. haha)
and he kept hiding behind my back.
i hugged him and then gently gave his hand to the hula girl.
the end. haha
it's my sister's birthday and i want a brother.
mean me.
happy birthday Gill! :D
hay. grabe.
Hell Week is entering.
i don't feel it much yet since i guess i've
been under stress the past few days that
it's been hell to me for long already.
too many requirements and exams are lined up
ready to grill my messed up head.
oh gosh.
weird thing is, i actually like it.
yes, the full planner looks tiring already
without actually getting your head to work.
also, it's hard to maintain a work mode for long.
with all the distractions looming around the corners
and the hours of my loved sleep that i put away,
but it feels challenging.
it feels good to actually have all these tasks piled up.
i dunno. maybe i'm in the worst state of boredom
but hey, this attitude of mine can pull me through
this hell week.
of course i'd love to just laze around and sleep all day
or just do what i feel like doing but this is different.
i feel that this is a very good preparation
for the more stressful future ahead of me.
this is just the start. haha
i guess the best way to deal with stress is to
enjoy having it around. ;)
" 1 for all and all for 1. Laban natin ito. AJA !"
those words made my day.
with all the downs, it was enough to lift
everything up.
it was enough to make me feel joy.:)
P.S.
may Pisay Campus na sa Pampanga
and sa Baguio! :D
my consciennce bugs me
for losing in P.E.
it's not that i'm sad.
it's just that i feel that i should've
given my opponents a better
match.
i dunno why but it just feels
like P.E. was never my cup of tea.
yes, it's a subject and it's graded.
yes, it can be good for your health.
but i just feel that sometimes
it's not worth the effort.
it's not worth the competition.
it's supposed to be fun.
well, maybe not for goners like me. haha
i wonder if i will ever find the sport for me.
a sport for sessile people because
i rarely find the right force
to compel me to go for it.
no wonder i don't strive to be good
in any sport. not my thing. :p
haha.
sorry to lea and cess. peace ^^
i'm such a lousy sessile loser. haha
the first post i had was about my atrociousness
towards my pet goldfishes.
that experience has inspired me for a certain requirement. ;)
anyway, i remembered another pet disaster i had
in my preschool years.
i told my friends about it and i think it's worth sharing.
when i was in preschool, there was an event called Pet day.
Pet day is the day when each student
gets to share their pets with everyone.
i was no animal lover back then until now.
i didn't have a pet. but, come on, what are grandmas for?
a pouted face plus a kiss and hug on my grandma
would be more than enough to get me a pet.
i didn't get to see my pet until the day came.
as i was about to head to my service,
my grandma handed me a jar.
it was a glass jar with a piece of cloth above it
serving as its lid secured by rubber bands.
in it was an insect i've never seen before.
it was brownish with six legs.
it had a pair of antennae and it seemed to have wings.
i stared at it in my service while my other schoolmates were
also having fun with their pets.
we had class like usual.
the pets were collected before class
so as to arrange them for the exhibit.
i was excited to see my pet in the exhibit.
i saw a colorful fish in a fish bowl with colored stones.
i saw a bunny in its cage.
i saw lovebirds in a cage.
i even saw a dog.
i looked hard but saw no trace of my glass jar.
i never got to see that jar again.
now, as i look back to that day,
i realize that my grandma might not have
loved my bribery of kisses and hugs.
my pet was more of a pet with an s before the t.
oh, i have to tell you,
the label on one side of my glass jar said, "COCKROACH".
my head feels really messed up yesterday afternoon
until this morning.
actually, it still is messed up now
but it cleared out a bit.
what's in my head:
requirements to be passed
exams to be studied
regretting
thinking why it's so hard
bodily processes
miscellaneous
obviously there was no living there.
hay nako. go me.
sorry for this lousy post :
big fat mouths.
when you say something,
sincerely or not,
it means something.
even if it was a joke,
you somehow believed in it that
you got to crack it out as a joke.
that is why they say that jokes are half - meant.
the bad thing about speaking
is that you can't take back
whatever you've said.
it's gone in the seconds that just ticked by.
if it was good, then you've influenced people
to think better and to be proactive.
if it was bad, you may have hurt people
without knowing it and yet
you can't do anything about it.
they may have misunderstood what you
said and looked at it from a different perspective
but it is your fault since you spoke those words.
you gave an oppurtunity for those words to
hurt someone's feelings.
the more it sucks when the hurt one is
your friend.
that is an example of a big fat mouth.
we can't avoid it.
sometimes, we don' get a hold of
ourselves enough and just blurt out
what comes to mind.
it is really important to think of what you're
gonna say first before actually saying them.
it doesn't take so long.
don't take so long, you might not be able
to speak all your life. that's taking your right
to free speech for granted.
just take a second and think.
that ought to do the trick.
but, if the damage is done. it is.
time heals but the scars remain. too bad.
i did something bad today.
it's not like i don't everyday.
i hurt a friend's feelings.
i'm really sorry but i know it's my fault.
bad me.
tears are one of the many fascinating things in this world.
they are crystal - like droplets welling beside your eye
and eventually falling down continuously and it won't
stop even when you want them to. sometimes,
they won't come when you need them.
funny thing is tears come from extreme emotions.
emotions which are not so similar
but maybe interconnected or related.
when you're too happy.
when you're too sad.
when you experience too much pain.
i've had a good amount of these things in my life.
it feels good to cry and just let those tears fall.
but i'm not publishing this entry to be all
sentimental. it's because i see people
crying frequently and it bugs me.
i'm not good in comforting people
and i don't like comforting people either.
maybe it's because i'm my own confidante.
i don't cry in front of others.
therefore, i am not comforted by others.
which is why i don't know how to do so
and it just makes it fair that i don't comfort others too.
that sounded mean and indifferent.
i think a better way of dealing
crying people is not to comfort them
but to cry with them.
that i can't do either since as i've said, i don't
cry in front of others.
i'm just ranting here because it feels weird to see people cry.
it creates a weird tension in the
atmosphere.
oh well.
cry all you want
but don't be sulky for the rest of your life.
i address that to all the people
who have been blue lately especially
my friends.
it's thursday.
i attended a conference in AKSIS this morning
about leadership. we had good speakers.
kuya Rob posed a question,
"what is your because?"
that made me think.
what is my because?
what made me a leader?
sir Martin said,
"anyone can be a leader
and it is but normal that they are born
for we are all human beings."
so i was a leader?
but was i?
i can be.
but, did i choose to be?
did i want to tap any potential?
i don't know.
i'm attending a leadership congress in India
this sembreak. and yet, i'm not sure if i am one.
that's weird. maybe it's because i have clubs,
and i became an officer twice.
maybe because i seem, to be law-abiding.
is it because of my zodiac sign? lousy. haha
a leader should have a vision.
you know there's something wrong.
you work towards attacking it.
you should formulate ways of doing so.
in short, speak up and don't just sit
there watching the things around you corrupt.
a leader should be socially aware.
i don't have a TV.
i don't read the news.
i guess i should start doing so. haha
a leader should be service-oriented.
it's not about you.
very noble. very self-sacrificing.
was i willing to do that?
at the end of the day,
i ponder if i am a leader.
maybe, a good follower.
that's a leader.
i don't know.
i surely lead my life.
i have an idea where i'm leading it.
but hey, things change so fast.
oh well.
that's something to bug my head
once in a while.
honestly, i don't wanna blog anymore. :
my life just isn't bloggable.
some events just don't influence me
enough for me to blog them.
but hey, i've got something to share. wow.
living on impulse.
a friend of mine told me, that would be
living an animal's life.
we are animals right?
and i guess i've lived on impulse today.
it's a weird experience really.
it's just about doing what you want to do.
no strings attached. no worries. you simply don't care.
you just act on impulse.
i'm a "schedulized" person.
i always think of things to be done.
it's like turning me 180 degrees to live on impulse.
i must admit, it was fun. it was living.
right, i don't have a life :
oh well.
i'm still quite in the state of recovery. lol
DEATH NOTE DONE.
i'm through with the 37 episodes of Death Note.
generally, it's okay.
since L died, the anime didn't make sense to me anymore.
wait, that sounds so biased.
when L died, it gave me a sense of closure.
this is why the introduction of a bunch of new characters
is just so anticlimatic.
at first, i liked Light.
we had similarities but i wouldn't kill like he did.
wait, i wouldn't kill.
his rivalry against L was really interesting.
but then, as time passed. Light lost his sanity
little by little. he was no longer human.
he was just this killing machine
who is too full of himself to think to be God.
he plain sucked.
Light's confinement and "execution"
was interesting. i liked Light when he was sane again.
i loved the part when they were running after Higuchi.
it really gave a sense of closure.
but then, L died!!!!
then Near and Mello appeared.
then everything seemed so lame.
i love Near though. :x
i wonder how young he is..
what's worse, i never got to know L's name
throughout the series!!!!
oh well.
that's Death Note.
i was watching death note since uh, my depression.
i watched it to end my depression.
it betrayed me.
it now causes my sadness.
well, i'm not really sad anymore.
i just want to dwell on his loss a bit longer.
how the hell could he die?
my interest for him hasn't even reached the second day?
oh darn.
i really like him.
we have striking similarities.
awwww.
> we both have eyebags. haha
> we like sweets.
> we don't easily trust people.
> we're both fond of church.
> we're both good in massaging feet.
i really love the way he thinks.
so smart and yet so simple - minded.
he plays tennis and he can
defend himself.
for some reason, he is freakin rich as well.
oh i just love him. :x
too bad he's gone.
oh well.
LONG LIVE L!!!!!
"WELCOME everything that comes to you
BUT do not LONG for more."
this was the quote from my calendar last July 3.
i can't forget about this quote because of its
obvious application in my life.
i am a person who wants things done.
i admit that the only thing i'm good at is my academics.
and yet, it can betray me and just abandon me in the slume areas of my life.
i suck in extra - curricular activities.
name it. i stink in each and everyone of them.
P.E, i can't play an instrument, i can't make any creative thing.
i'm not ranting about this to degrade my being.
i am stating the facts which serve as factors for how i react to certain conditions.
since academics is my only refuge, i expect a lot from it.
i have my own standards set before me and i get really disappointed
when i don't get the perceived results.
my parents don't really require me anything.
it's just me scolding myself around.
as seen from a different perspective, i may sound stupid.
but this idea just seems so real from time to time.
the quote i share to you is something i use to get me out
of my childish depression.
one should just accept everything and not ask for more.
do what you can and accept the results with no further complaints.
besides, it is exactly you to blame why things turned out the way they did.
it's hard but it is worth the shot.
i don't really have people to talk to about such things cause i end up sounding
arrogant and self - centered.
well, maybe i am. i don't really know.
just shared it. keep it in mind godgivengift.
it'll help you live.
i was depressed last friday due to some childish reasons.
that's just how some things work.
they seem so important that you almost lose sanity
but after getting over it, dwelling over such a thing just doesn't
make sense anymore.
i'm my own confidant.
i am the only one who knows what's going on in my life.
when i enter a sad stage, i am the only one who comforts myself.
besides my mom, it's the ol way i get over it.
there are plenty of options.
sleep, listen to happy music, play games, eat your fave food,
refresh, watch movies, draw or simply indulge to your desires.
last friday, i had a new approach.
i was bored. i washed, i slept and yet
there was still a residue of sadness left.
so i tried random things on youtube being tempted by a friend. :->.
i keyed in "anime" and i saw a vid with a hot white guy with hair featured.
i was curious. >:).
then i figured out it was an anime cosplay.
Dang! were they good. they really looked like the anime!
there were a lot of naruto cosplays but the hot guy i saw
was a character in the series "Death Note".
i searched for the series in youtube.
i watched the first. then the second, then the third
until i just couldn't stop. i had to debate with my inner self
to stop my overentertainment. :))
that's how cosplay dragged me out of my distress.
try it as well some time. >:)
i shall tell you a story of my childhood and the roots of my atrociousness.
want to hear how i killed my only pet before? goldfishes
wanna hear it?
anyway. originally i had 2 goldfishes and 2 angelfishes
my angelfishes were colored white
i liked them. one day,
i checked my aquarium and saw a coton - like material floating in the water.
i counted my fishes.
i only saw the 2 goldfishes and i saw one eating the angelfish right before my eyes!!!!!
and then i figured out that the cotton - like material was my angelfish
killed ruthlessly by the goldfishes. i was furious and sad.
then i came up with a plan.
i decided to kill my goldfishes and send them to hell where they belong.
so i decides not to feed them. they lived.
i didn't change the aquarium's water. they survived.
i turned off the oxygen. they were still there.
i got really pissed...I FED THEM TO OUR CUTE PUSSY CATS!!!!!!!!
my age.. i was.. let's say 7 years old or younger.
the reason why i don't eat the head part of any fish.
it reminds me of what i did to my goldfishes.
it is fair anyway.
they killed my angel fishes, they deserve to die as well. >:)
since then, my mom didn't buy any pet anymore.
