:)

" 1 for all and all for 1. Laban natin ito. AJA !"

those words made my day.
with all the downs, it was enough to lift
everything up.
it was enough to make me feel joy.:)

P.S.
may Pisay Campus na sa Pampanga
and sa Baguio! :D

lousy loser

my consciennce bugs me
for losing in P.E.
it's not that i'm sad.
it's just that i feel that i should've
given my opponents a better
match.
i dunno why but it just feels
like P.E. was never my cup of tea.
yes, it's a subject and it's graded.
yes, it can be good for your health.
but i just feel that sometimes
it's not worth the effort.
it's not worth the competition.
it's supposed to be fun.
well, maybe not for goners like me. haha

i wonder if i will ever find the sport for me.
a sport for sessile people because
i rarely find the right force
to compel me to go for it.
no wonder i don't strive to be good
in any sport. not my thing. :p
haha.

sorry to lea and cess. peace ^^

i'm such a lousy sessile loser. haha

Pet disaster # 2

the first post i had was about my atrociousness
towards my pet goldfishes.
that experience has inspired me for a certain requirement. ;)

anyway, i remembered another pet disaster i had
in my preschool years.
i told my friends about it and i think it's worth sharing.

when i was in preschool, there was an event called Pet day.
Pet day is the day when each student
gets to share their pets with everyone.
i was no animal lover back then until now.
i didn't have a pet. but, come on, what are grandmas for?
a pouted face plus a kiss and hug on my grandma
would be more than enough to get me a pet.
i didn't get to see my pet until the day came.

as i was about to head to my service,
my grandma handed me a jar.
it was a glass jar with a piece of cloth above it
serving as its lid secured by rubber bands.
in it was an insect i've never seen before.
it was brownish with six legs.
it had a pair of antennae and it seemed to have wings.
i stared at it in my service while my other schoolmates were
also having fun with their pets.

we had class like usual.
the pets were collected before class
so as to arrange them for the exhibit.
i was excited to see my pet in the exhibit.
i saw a colorful fish in a fish bowl with colored stones.
i saw a bunny in its cage.
i saw lovebirds in a cage.
i even saw a dog.
i looked hard but saw no trace of my glass jar.

i never got to see that jar again.

now, as i look back to that day,
i realize that my grandma might not have
loved my bribery of kisses and hugs.

my pet was more of a pet with an s before the t.

oh, i have to tell you,
the label on one side of my glass jar said, "COCKROACH".

messed up head

my head feels really messed up yesterday afternoon
until this morning.
actually, it still is messed up now
but it cleared out a bit.

what's in my head:
requirements to be passed
exams to be studied
regretting
thinking why it's so hard
bodily processes
miscellaneous

obviously there was no living there.

hay nako. go me.

sorry for this lousy post :

big fat mouths

big fat mouths.

when you say something,
sincerely or not,
it means something.
even if it was a joke,
you somehow believed in it that
you got to crack it out as a joke.
that is why they say that jokes are half - meant.

the bad thing about speaking
is that you can't take back
whatever you've said.
it's gone in the seconds that just ticked by.
if it was good, then you've influenced people
to think better and to be proactive.

if it was bad, you may have hurt people
without knowing it and yet
you can't do anything about it.
they may have misunderstood what you
said and looked at it from a different perspective
but it is your fault since you spoke those words.
you gave an oppurtunity for those words to
hurt someone's feelings.
the more it sucks when the hurt one is
your friend.

that is an example of a big fat mouth.
we can't avoid it.
sometimes, we don' get a hold of
ourselves enough and just blurt out
what comes to mind.
it is really important to think of what you're
gonna say first before actually saying them.

it doesn't take so long.
don't take so long, you might not be able
to speak all your life. that's taking your right
to free speech for granted.
just take a second and think.
that ought to do the trick.

but, if the damage is done. it is.
time heals but the scars remain. too bad.

i did something bad today.
it's not like i don't everyday.
i hurt a friend's feelings.
i'm really sorry but i know it's my fault.

bad me.

Tears

tears are one of the many fascinating things in this world.
they are crystal - like droplets welling beside your eye
and eventually falling down continuously and it won't
stop even when you want them to. sometimes,
they won't come when you need them.

funny thing is tears come from extreme emotions.
emotions which are not so similar
but maybe interconnected or related.
when you're too happy.
when you're too sad.
when you experience too much pain.

i've had a good amount of these things in my life.
it feels good to cry and just let those tears fall.

but i'm not publishing this entry to be all
sentimental. it's because i see people
crying frequently and it bugs me.
i'm not good in comforting people
and i don't like comforting people either.

maybe it's because i'm my own confidante.
i don't cry in front of others.
therefore, i am not comforted by others.
which is why i don't know how to do so
and it just makes it fair that i don't comfort others too.
that sounded mean and indifferent.
i think a better way of dealing
crying people is not to comfort them
but to cry with them.
that i can't do either since as i've said, i don't
cry in front of others.

i'm just ranting here because it feels weird to see people cry.
it creates a weird tension in the
atmosphere.

oh well.
cry all you want
but don't be sulky for the rest of your life.
i address that to all the people
who have been blue lately especially
my friends.

leadership

it's thursday.
i attended a conference in AKSIS this morning
about leadership. we had good speakers.
kuya Rob posed a question,
"what is your because?"
that made me think.
what is my because?
what made me a leader?

sir Martin said,
"anyone can be a leader
and it is but normal that they are born
for we are all human beings."
so i was a leader?

but was i?
i can be.
but, did i choose to be?
did i want to tap any potential?
i don't know.

i'm attending a leadership congress in India
this sembreak. and yet, i'm not sure if i am one.
that's weird. maybe it's because i have clubs,
and i became an officer twice.
maybe because i seem, to be law-abiding.
is it because of my zodiac sign? lousy. haha

a leader should have a vision.
you know there's something wrong.
you work towards attacking it.
you should formulate ways of doing so.
in short, speak up and don't just sit
there watching the things around you corrupt.

a leader should be socially aware.
i don't have a TV.
i don't read the news.
i guess i should start doing so. haha

a leader should be service-oriented.
it's not about you.
very noble. very self-sacrificing.
was i willing to do that?

at the end of the day,
i ponder if i am a leader.
maybe, a good follower.
that's a leader.
i don't know.
i surely lead my life.
i have an idea where i'm leading it.
but hey, things change so fast.

oh well.
that's something to bug my head
once in a while.